Avoiding Negativity Bias

My day job requires a 40 minute commute (one way). I enjoy singing along with the radio and hearing the radio hosts banter with each other. Last week I was traveling earlier than usual due to an event at the office. My local station was hosting Life Coach Gina, and I quickly found myself caught up by what she was sharing.

Gina told the story of her friend, a woman who travels a lot for her job, who had just undergone a review. Her boss had complimented her on all that she had accomplished and rewarded her with a $30,000 performance bonus! $30,000!!!! But on the heels of the bonus, the boss shared three items he wanted her to improve upon over the next six months. At the end of the review, instead of feeling joy and success at all that she had accomplished, Gina’s friend was focused on what she needed to improve. So much so that when she talked with her husband later that day, she was so focused on the negative thoughts that she completely forgot to share the good news of her $30,000 bonus!

Gina referred to this as negativity bias. I’d never heard that term before, so I looked it up. It can be defined as: 

• Negative experiences that tend to exert greater psychological impact on us than positive experiences of the same magnitude.¹

• Our tendency to focus more on the negatives than the positives - in ourselves, in others (particularly our parents!), in our circumstances; in the past, in the present and when forecasting the future.²

Bottom line: it’s when we latch on to bad or negative thoughts or feelings, and ignore the good or neutral ones.

In the writing world, there are a lot of good things happening: authors encouraging other authors, and readers and fans who share their love of our books with us. But there are also bad things: lack of interactions with others while we are writing, the physical toll writing takes on our bodies, and mistakes we make in our writing to name a few. Professional jealousy and editor/agent/publisher turnovers also color our world. 

It often seems that the bad things outweigh the good, and that's when we find ourselves in a downward spiral. I think writers are particularly susceptible to criticism. Even constructive criticism can be painful; we often internalize it to mean that we are not good enough. We put ourselves down. I know I’ve done it. Once you start down that path, it's really hard to climb out of the hole and stand confidently at the top again

Gina talked about the tendency to focus on negatives, citing our ancestors as sources. Our ancestors looked for negatives. They needed to be aware of threats in order to avoid problems and protect themselves. It was a survival instinct. Although the world is a different place now, our ability to handle life is constantly changing based on our own personal growth and experiences.

As she concluded her story, Gina offered some suggestions for avoiding the negatives and turning them into positives.

1. Identify when we are feeling negatively.
2. Be aware – of the negativity itself and how it is affecting us.
3. Remember that the problem is not the negative thoughts. The problem is our relationship to the thoughts and what we do with them. How do we relate to the thoughts? Do we let them drag us down? Or are we being curious about why we are reacting and how we are handling the negativity and exploring those thoughts?

While we can't control those around us, we can control how we react. So next time you feel surrounded by negativity, try following Life Coach Gina's suggestions. Take charge for yourself. Be curious. Take the opportunity to learn and to change your reaction, even if you are being dragged along, kicking and screaming, by the negativity surrounding you.

Do you have other suggestions for dealing with negativity? Please share!

For more information,Gina's podcast can be found here: 

http://wixy.com/wixy-mornings/life-coach-gina-how-can-someone-not-be-happy-about-getting-30000/

¹ https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/3-steps-negativity-bias/

² https://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2017/09/30/combat-negativity-bias/#4b3831d534a8


HiDee Ekstrom never goes anywhere without a book or a pen and paper. Reading, writing, and chocolate are important elements of her daily life that inspire her to write. She also finds inspiration in and enjoys photography, scrapbooking, camping, hiking, and spending time with her family. Writing as Lainee Cole, two of her short-stories have been self-published in anthologies: Captured by Christmas and At Midnight. Follow Lainee at Facebook Author Page, Facebook Author Profile Page, and on Twitter.