What's On Your Bucket List?

The words “Bucket List” seem to be in the air these days. My husband and I watched, again, the movie by that title starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, the story of two dying men trying to make the most of their last days. I was hosted on a blog a week ago for which the question was asked, “What’s on your bucket list?” Is it a new concept or one that has been around for a while?

According to Slate magazine, the phrase “to kick the bucket” dates back to 1785, when it was used in the context of dying. But it has evolved since then.

“In 2004, the term was used—perhaps for the first time?—in the context of things to do before one kicks the bucket— in the book Unfair & Unbalanced: The Lunatic Magniloquence of Henry E. Panky, by Patrick M. Carlisle. That work includes the sentences, “So, anyway, a Great Man, in his querulous twilight years, who doesn’t want to go gently into that blacky black night. He wants to cut loose, dance on the razor’s edge, pry the lid off his bucket list!” wrote June Thomas, a Slate culture critic.

Hence, the bucket list has become in popular culture a list to make of all the things the list maker must do before kicking the bucket, or before dying. In the movie, The Bucket List, the characters listed things like kiss a beautiful woman, skydive, see something awesome, and find the joy in your life. A lot of people might list exotic places to visit, like the Taj Mahal or Paris.

I think somehow making a bucket list gives life a purpose, a direction. Narrow living down to completing activities or visiting places that have meaning and life will have been worth living. The list maker takes satisfaction in taking control of his or her life, not letting it simply happen. By taking control of life armed with a bucket list, when death approaches there will be less regret, if any.

I think the concept is interesting. But when asked the question, “What’s on your bucket list,” I couldn’t think of any one thing or list of specific things I longed to do before I die. Maybe as a writer I should have a bucket list of things I want to write: poetry, literary fiction, a children's book. I could try to do those things, bu I'm content with the books I'm writing already.

Turns out, I’m not a bucket list person. I like structure, planning, and purpose, but I’m living my life as it comes, remaining open to whatever as much as possible. I can’t imagine knowing what is ahead, so why would I prioritize a certain path that includes specific actions or places? It feels like pressure, to me, to have to meet certain goals in order to be ready to leave this life.

But I do think it’s a fun game. So, what’s on your bucket list? Are you a bucket list maker? Please share.

The Writing Life

A number of years ago I realized, decided, declared that I wanted to be a writer. Now, years later, I marvel at "being" a writer. My writing life has been interesting, painful, and fun.

Since writing my first clips as a volunteer for a non-profit group, I have been able to carve a career out of writing. I've written for local, regional, and nationally distributed publications about a range of topics. I've interviewed local firefighters and police officers, college presidents and politicians, scientists of international renown, as well as parents, animal lovers and boy scouts. I've had two romance novels published and a third is scheduled for release December 16. I'm excited about things I've been able to accomplish in my writing career. It's all been extremely fascinating. And at times terrifying.

The waiting to learn the outcome of all your hard work can drive a creative like me crazy. Self-doubt can be a hard rock in my stomach that points out I don't know what I'm doing. Less than happy reviews and rejections can feel very personal, like a global statement about my ability. But on the other hand, crafting an article or a scene that feels right is joyful. The writing has saved me over and over from despair, because the process of writing is both excruciating and life-saving. Though sometimes it's hard to sit down at my computer to write, I can always count on writing to be there, I just have to get over whatever is in my way.

Writing for me is more than a career. It's a life. As with probably all writers, elements of writing are always with me. Everywhere I am, writing is with me. It shapes how I see the world. It has been an initiation, of sorts, to a way of accessing inspiration and keen awareness. When watching a movie or television show, my notebook is always beside me, ready for me to scribble something interesting that pops into my senses. In public, I'm frequently a step back from what's happening around me as an observer of human interaction.

For me, the writing life presents a fascinating way to experience life. Writing is an expression of me. When I ride my bike, I take in all the sensations of the riding; my physical state, and the scents and sounds and temperatures on my skin. When I see a large spider in my kitchen sink and carry it out on a paper towel, I set it on the threshold of my back door, then, very in the moment, I tell it, "On my porch or in my backyard, but not in my sink." When a small, young cat wanders into my yard, nearly emaciated, I do what I can to feed it and get it into a home. All the emotions, all the ins and outs of my life get catalogued as not only my experience, but as information to draw on when writing.

The writing life can be exhilarating while gut-wrenching, joyful while scary, and it's one I am very grateful to live.