You're Most Alive When? by @lcrandallwriter

What makes you feel alive? The answer to that is probably different for different people. It can be simple, as I suspect it is for two of my sons as they sail down a snowy mountain on their boards.

But it also can be complex, because humans are complex and carry around old patterns that dictate how we live our lives.

I have often said that I like to put my characters in danger, push them to an edge and see how they manage to not only survive but thrive. I do not want to go through what my characters do. I feel alive when I take a sip of my morning coffee. I do not want to stand toe to toe with a killer or mob boss. But the heroine in my first Crimson Romance title, Dancing with Detective Danger, does. 

Heroine Sterling Aegar is not afraid of danger; in fact, she loves the thrill of it. Working as a private investigator with her sister Lacey, she can hold her own. When a gun is pointed at her, she breaths in more air and her heart pumps hard. The thrill is what lets her know she’s alive. The more peril, the better.

But she mistakes numbness for fearlessness. Too many deaths and losses early in life have convinced her that everyone leaves. Instead of accepting the risk of loving Detective Ben Kirby, her former lover, she has put him and any possibility of true love safely behind her emotional walls.

However, numbness of the spirit does not allow spontaneous, joy-producing living. Sterling has to confront old wounds and learn that “alive” changes when healing takes place. And at that point she can make genuine decisions, not follow patterns she believes keep her safe.

Sterling’s journey of facing inner conflict is a common aspect of living people face or ignore. But on a more lighthearted level, we can all finish the statement, You know you’re alive when… For myself, I feel most alive when I see a pattern for what it is and make a choice. It’s a rush I enjoy. But I also enjoy the rush of diving into the brisk waters of Lake Michigan. I know I’m alive when I slice through the water and every sense is touched. I know I’m alive when I watch kindness between people and can pause and admire it fullheartedly. (Yes, I made up that word.) I know I’m alive when I feel the wind and sun on my skin as I ride my bike. I could go on and on but I’d rather learn how you would finish the sentence.

You know you’re alive when…

Dancing with Detective Danger is on sale on Amazon for the month of February for $1.99 http://a.co/i0ur8cR

© Jeffrey Van Daele | Dreamstime Stock Photos

Where Ideas Come From

I’m one of the few writers who has never been asked where my ideas for stories come from. I’ve heard it’s a common question. Sitting at my computer thinking on ideas, I stopped and wondered about my answer to that question. Hmm…where do my ideas for fiction come from?

I’m pretty sure if someone had asked me this question a few years back I would have said my ideas come from life around me. There is so much diversity of life that the “What if” question can result in many story answers. What if planet Earth had two suns? What if two sisters who truly loved one another decided to work together? What if those sisters were orphaned at a young age? What would be their underlying issues that drive them?

So yes, life is full of ideas for stories. As an author, my problem is not so much having too few ideas but having ideas popping up all the time.

But sitting at my computer I realized my ideas come from some of my basic beliefs: Life is not what we think it is; average individuals are true heroes; internal problems drive us but typically are the way out of pain and lack of awareness.

I want to triumph the ordinary hero and heroine and illustrate how great humans can be, so my stories develop around characters with heart. I consider the man down the street who has clarity about how to live a life of inner strength and quality character. Or the young woman at the grocery store who feels different but faces what that does to her and comes out on the other side of it with more self-awareness and respect for herself. Those struggles are very human, and the way characters travel those types of journeys can speak to life lessons we all can benefit from.

Here’s an excerpt from Dancing with Detective Danger in which heroine Lacy Aegar faces her fear of letting down her walls of protection and getting hurt, a coping mechanism from childhood when her father was murdered.

“Dog?” Sterling started, just as the streak of black and brown fur rambunctiously rounded the corner. “Mr. Teeth! What is he doing here? He’s still limping?”

 

Ben crouched to corral the dog, and began scratching him affectionately under the chin. “The neighbors at the condo said his name is Joe, not Mr. Teeth. Somebody had to take him in. The animal control guys wanted to keep him, but he’s our only witness to the Witt murder.”

“Excuse me, did you say witness?”

“Yes, witness. And yes, he’s limping. The vet said he has a bruised muscle. Probably got kicked.”

Sterling watched uneasily, thinking of stepping out through the still open front door. “Well that might explain why Lacey and I could get away from him at the condo, he had a lame leg. You two seem to have hit it off.”

“He’s not so ferocious once you get to know him. He’s all bark. Besides, we have a lot in common. We’re both trying to get over broken hearts.”

Sterling’s temper instantly flared. “It won’t work, you know. Your little comments won’t change anything. You’re only driving me crazy!”

    

“I’m driving you crazy? I’m driving you crazy?” Ben stood to face her as Joe ambled away into the living room.

“Yes.” Slamming her hands on her hips, Sterling stared Ben down. “Your comments keep bringing up old stuff. Stuff we settled two years ago.”

In one second, he slammed the door shut and strode close to her. Standing inches from Sterling’s face, Ben peered down at her. “We never settled anything. You may have, I don’t know, but we never settled anything.”

Ben’s eyes locked hers and suddenly Sterling felt her walls tumble. The pain filling his face gripped her heart. She knew she caused it. She had never meant to hurt him so terribly. Doing the right thing shouldn’t be so painful. Caught between the fear of what could happen and the agony of the moment, Sterling closed her eyes and collapsed against his chest. “I’m so sorry, Ben.” Ben’s body, rigid and hard, instantly drew up the buried cravings for his touch from deep and low inside her. As she let her mind relax, she felt a matching response, the taut muscles of his chest molding to her body.

It’s in these moments when average individuals challenge their status quo that their lives can change, and that is exciting fodder for story ideas.

Dancing Detective Danger is presently $1.99 at  https://amzn.com/B00YDM8HQA 

https://youtu.be/UUbKNNxOe3w

Have you ever learned a life lesson from a book? What was it and what book?

When Everything Falls Apart

I recently read a saying that made me laugh. It went something like this: Dear Whatever-Doesn’t-Kill-You-Makes-You-Stronger, Thank you. I’m strong enough now. 

Cute! But it started my brain thinking about what people do when everything falls apart.

Options are many. There’s always the “go to bed,” option. Just drop out of the world for a bit and let everything stop. Maybe there are tears and feelings of failure or loneliness to process or not. Of course the standard grab a cup of really good coffee, tea, or liquor offers a degree of solace when relationships fail or everything you’d planned, dreamed of, and worked toward falls apart.

 In my books, Dancing with Detective Danger and Always and Forever Love, about the Private Investigator sisters, Sterling and Lacey Agar, the sisters suffered much and early. Their world, consisting of their family, crumbled away in degrees. They each found ways of soldiering on, but they also each built coping mechanisms that kept them going into adulthood. Coping mechanisms are survival tactics, but they also can become outdated and destructive.

For Sterling, the younger sister, the loss of her father and mother and family as she’d known it prompted her to build walls that would keep her safe from getting close to anyone again. When her sister’s husband was killed, the walls got stronger and she broke up with her lover and detective, Ben. Here’s an excerpt in which Ben pushes her to try love again.

     Ben dropped his hands to his sides and stepped off the elevator. Thoughtfully, he rubbed his thumb against his chin. The rasping of his thick beard stubble sounded crisply inside Sterling’s head, drawing her in like a bee to honey. 
    “We found Jerry’s fingerprints on a glass in the bathroom,” he said, eyeing her as she stepped out into the night. 
     Sterling cleared her throat. “So they were enjoying a little early morning tryst. That would explain why there was no sign of forced entry and why the dog didn’t attack the killer. The dog must have known the killer. It seems pretty open and shut, huh?” 
     “Maybe,” hedged Ben. “Maybe a little too neat?” 
     “Yeah. But then, what’s wrong with neat? Well, here’s my car,” she said, stepping several feet away from Ben. Sterling pointed her remote key toward her car and put her hand on the door handle. Her hands still trembled, despite her efforts to calm herself. Nervously, she glanced over her shoulder and saw Ben standing on the other side of the lot. 
     “You know, it seems like you’re always walking away from me,” he said, his voice low. 
     Instantly, Sterling pivoted. “Don’t do that.” She faced him with as much composure as she could muster. 
     “Don’t do what?” A few succinct broad strides and he closed the distance between them. 
     “Don’t keep referring to the past.” 
     “I can’t help it, Sterling. Maybe that’s because what we shared isn’t really in the past.” 
     Standing close, he looked down at her with such sorrow, she wished she could reach out and hold him, tell him everything would be the way he wanted it. With strong emotions seething just under her skin, it would be so easy to tell him things could be the way they used to be. 
     Instead, she backed away. 

Like her sister, Lacey’s worldview was shaped by the loss of her parents. But when her husband died, she wore the grief of his death like a heavy mantle. That is, until her dead husband, Nicholas, returned to her as an embodied spirit. With him back in her life, and visible only to her, Lacey centers her life around him, repressing any desires for more. She fears the return of the terrible grief if he leaves. But what she doesn’t know is that Nicholas has come back to help her move back into the world and develop a new relationship, without him nearby.

     Brought out of her reflection by the sound of a car horn nearby, she realized Nicholas’s remark was part of a developing pattern he’d been presenting lately, and she wanted to nip it. “Jackson Carter is a snake who comes from a long line of snakes. I want nothing to do with him.” Initially she’d felt self-conscious about talking to Nick in public, but he’d suggested that most people didn’t notice because they were busy with their own thoughts, and she’d found out he was right. She glanced at the passenger side and smiled. “How long have you been watching, Nick, my love?” 
     “Long enough. I wanted to see Tyler off. But stop changing the subject.” He set his eyes, the color of crystal blue quartz, on Lacey. “Tell me about Jackson.” 
     Her heart clenched. “I don’t want to talk about him. The only two men in my life are Tyler and you.” She wanted the traffic driving by to distract him but she suspected his attention was elsewhere. 
     “You forget, I’m dead. I’m just a ghost. I can’t even keep you warm on a cool summer evening.” The wind flowing in through the open window lifted strands of Nick’s ash- blond, wavy hair. His face turned to savor the breeze, and he looked every bit alive enough to Lacey. 
     “You make me happy. It’s as simple as that.” She reached for Nick’s hand. He took hers in his, brought her fingers to his lips, and brushed them with a kiss. She savored the feel of his lips, never taking his very solid presence for granted. 
     “You deserve more, Lacey. You’re young, you’re alive. I’m not. Not in the same sense you are.” 
     His pressure on her to consider different options than the perfectly lovely and satisfying one she had with him made her stop breathing. “Stop.” She let out her breath as she turned into the parking garage across the street from the Aegar Investigations office. “You are alive. Just not in a way anyone would get. I do. And I get you. And if that means I get you as a ghost, as you put it, I’m grateful.”

The defenses the sisters have in place are not far from what people do in real life when tough times hit and call into question how we’re going to go on. When a book project is rejected, many of us go through the routine of reassessing our ability as a writer and consider quitting. I’ve done it many times when a reviewer has rated my book anything less than a 5-star. Reassessing can be helpful. So can going to bed and grabbing a hot coffee, talking with a good friend, or really processing the sorrow.

Then what? It’s up to you. Because as Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Life is what you make it. Always has been, always will be.”

What do you do when facing a hard situation? Do you have any sayings that give you strength?

Don't Give Me Platitudes, Give Me Real

I’ve been on my soapbox for a while about platitudes. I hate platitudes. I want interaction with others to be real, even if it’s difficult. Platitudes don’t make connections, in my opinion, or offer real sentiment that might help. Platitudes are shallow and not always truthful. That is why I hate them.

Platitudes, however, are used often, for various situations. Someone tells you his or her mother just died. Because it’s a sensitive moment and it’s hard to know just what to say, it’s often an occasion to use a platitude: “At least she didn’t suffer.” “He’s in a better place.” “He lived a full life.”
 

In that moment, we may feel discomfort ourselves with the idea of death, our own or of a loved one. A platitude can help us avoid being present at all with what’s real. It usually has good intentions. Platitudes get credit for that. And when we’re busy and don’t want to be in a lengthy discussion, a platitude can suffice while letting us move on. Sometimes the situation is overwhelming and we’re at a loss for words.

In my book Dancing with Detective Danger, the main characters, sisters Sterling and Lacy Aegar, have suffered so much loss and pain in their lifetime that they’ve adopted a coping mechanism. When things get rough they use platitudes to distance themselves from the problem.

Noting that the receptionist’s desk was empty, Lacey glanced at the wall clock and casually wondered why Michelle wasn’t at her desk by 10:30 a.m. But the thought was quickly forgotten when sounds of anguish spilled out from behind the door of the private office she shared with Sterling.

                “I can’t believe it!” Sterling fumed.

                “Can’t believe what?” Lacey walked to her desk and tossed her purse in a nearby chair, slightly alarmed by her sister’s dismay.

                “Oh, when it rains it pours, I guess.” Sterling’s sleek, chestnut hair fell over her face as she leaned her head on her hands.

                “If it weren’t for bad luck we’d have no luck at all?”

                “We’re between a rock and a hard place,” Sterling came back with from under her hair.

                “Well, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” It was a common game for the sisters, something to test their edge and sometimes to relieve stress. But Lacey knew this time something was serious. “Wanna tell me what’s up?”

In part their habit is denial of the severity of the problem. It lets them bypass fear and anxiety. But in real life, platitudes don’t help us feel any better because deep inside we know the truth. But being real is what everyone longs for, according to John Amodeo, PHD, writing for Psych Central.

“The deeper yearnings of our heart — our desire for love and connection — requires something from us. We need to know and show what we’re really feeling inside. Rather than keep our authentic self hidden due to a fear of being rejected or shamed, we need to summon the courage to contact and reveal what’s genuine inside us,” Amodeo wrote. “We legitimately want love, respect, and connection. But this wanting will not be actualized unless we’re willing to give something, both to ourselves and others: the gift of authenticity and realness.”

I’ve been learning in the last year or so that not every adult is skilled at communication. I don’t know why but I’ve always assumed adults know how to engage and interact effectively. It’s not true. Becoming skillful and real at communication with diverse people and in diverse situations takes awareness and practice. It’s not something we learn from others modeling and it’s not taught but as a means to get something, like a job or cooperation. But it’s interesting to see teachers, preachers, politicians, people who work with the public, and those we imagine would need to have acquired good communication skills haven’t.

It’s a thing of beauty to watch or engage with someone who is skilled in communications. They understand it takes focusing on the moment, presence, whether on the phone, in an email, or face to face. Even when a platitude would do the job, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” for instance, is a decent platitude. But how much better to be real, notice, and acknowledge that sometimes things just stink. They’re hard, devastating, grievous. And those moments should not be bypassed.

Last fall, one of my daughters-in-law was walking hand in hand with my son (her husband) on a semi-deserted road when a truck crossed over into the opposite lane, where the two were walking on the shoulder, and hit my daughter-in-law. The hit threw her several yards away into a ditch. She received a severe concussion and a broken arm. When my husband and I got the news we called my son at the hospital. One of the first things my husband said to our son was this: “I wish I were there so I could give you hug.” My distraught and traumatized son said, “I wish you were, too. I need a hug.” Over the phone the two shared the moment of deep emotion that deserved time and attention. My husband could have said, “Everything will be okay.” But at that moment, it wasn’t, so why bypass the truth?

Of course others, family and friends, offered something different. “Tomorrow will be better.” “It could have been worse.” I don’t mean to be critical. It’s just that platitudes or a cheer-up-things-will-get-better would have fallen so flat in easing my son and daughter-in-law’s emotional pain.

There is a time for something simple and traditional in moments that are challenging. When someone gets downsized it could be a time to say, “With losses come opportunities.” “Life is full of changes and you have to roll with the punches.” But that might come later. At first, having the heart and time to say something real and be present in the moment with the other person can meet the longing for truth —some things are hard, some things just hurt so much, and I’m right here in it with you.

Some platitudes are fun to ponder. What platitudes do you know?

An Interview with Lynn Crandall

Today, The Write Way Café would like to welcome our very own Lynn Crandall.  

When did you first have the thought you'd like to write a book? Was that first thought related to writing romance?
I got the bug when I was very young, but I didn’t do much about it. I wrote a play for church that was performed and I told my little sister stories. Then I grew up and got busy doing other things. About 15 years ago I read a book by John Gardner, On Becoming a Novelist. It blew my mind how much it resonated with my heart and soul. That’s when I decided to write and writing romances seemed like the most likely thing for me.

What was your path to getting this book written and published? What type of research did you do?
The concept of wanting to portray sisters came to me first and I worked out from there the characters of Sterling Aegar and her sister Lacey as private investigators and detective Ben Kirby. I have a background in newspaper reporting so I had knowledge of police procedures, to a degree. I talked extensively to a detective to get accurate information about the field and also to a therapist to be able to portray effectively characters with emotional wounding.

Where did the idea for your story come from?
I like the idea of portraying ordinary people. To me, with my background in newspaper and magazine writing, ordinary people are fascinating. Perfect heroines and heroes are fun to read about, but flawed, vulnerable average characters simply trying to live their lives are more inspiring to me.

Why did you pick the setting you did? 
The adage, “Write what you know,” came into play in picking my setting for Dancing with Detective Danger. I have always lived in the Midwest, so I know it. But I don’t expect that every book I write will be set in mid-size, Midwestern America.

Are your main characters completely imaginary or do they have some basis in real people? Do they reflect aspects of yourself? 
It’s hard to get away from embodying the characters, but they are not me or anyone I know. I feel my research enables me to create three-dimensional fictional characters, and hopefully readers relate to them.

Did you face any blocks while writing the book, and if so, how did you handle them? If not, what's your secret? 
I am always facing blocks of some sort. Usually if I am blocked, though, the solution is to get to work in some way. Doing more research always fuels more ideas and simply putting my writing brain to work opens up ideas, too. The hard part is believing it will happen and getting to it. It’s easy to procrastinate.

What have been surprises you've encountered while writing the book and after? 
Surprise! Promoting the book is a lot of work! When my first book was published things were very different in the publishing world, so with this book I’m learning a lot in terms of promoting it myself. If only I could clone myself and make one of me a publicist.

What did you learn? For instance, what did you learn about yourself, your process, the writing world, working with family members, and private investigators?
Learning has been an ongoing process because I want to write in such a way as to model possibilities for human growth, so I’m constantly exploring possibilities. I’ve learned so much from reading fiction, amazing applications to my own personal growth, so I know it can happen. I started out writing with the idea that I needed to write an epic novel in order to be a serious writer. That was in my own head. I learned to value the writing I do, regardless of outer approval, and that I like what I write. I write romances because I like exploring relationships and I want a happy ending.

I have to do thorough research or my story will fizzle out before I’m done with it and I don’t always have patience for that. I want to sit down and pound out an amazing story. It doesn’t work like that for me.

Tell us about your writing space and how or why it works for you.
I work in a corner of a room in my house. I’ve been working in this space for so long it feels like when I sit down, I’m where I belong. I love to write, so I love this spot. I have everything I need within reach because often my cat is on my lap when I write. So I have a pleasing calendar on the wall, little things that inspire me sitting on shelves, and a laptop, among other things. Outside my window are birdfeeders and two bird baths that attract my attention in warm weather and cold.

What are some of your favorite books and why?
I love classics, like Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte, and Persuasion and Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin, but I always have a paranormal romance in my Kindle or in print. I love Bitten, by Kelley Armstrong, and all her other books. I enjoy her story worlds and her characters, a lot because of the imaginary qualities that, to me, have elements of reality.

What are you working on now?
I’m working on a story about Lacey and how she survives and triumphs even in the situation of her husband’s death.

Learn more about Lynn and her writing at:


Website:  http://www.lynn-crandall.com/

Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/author/lynncrandall
Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/LynnCrandallAuthor?ref=hl
Twitter:  @lcrandall246

The Next Big Thing

The Next Big Thing Blog Hop visits The Write Way Café today, thanks to an invitation from Mary Hughes, whose next big thing is Alphas Don't Wear Bows. Thanks, Mary!

What is your working title of your book?

Dancing with Detective Danger

Where did the idea come from for the book?

I had random thoughts of how fun it would be work with my sisters, which led to the concept of two sisters working together as private investigators. And I liked the idea of the romantic relationship of the main characters having a history and a breakup, but potential for renewal in the present.

What genre does your book fall under?

Dancing with Detective Danger is a contemporary romantic suspense.

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

That's a tough one! I lean toward actors who I've watched for years but would be older than my characters. Both Ben and Sterling are fit and agile, strong willed and intense, so I could see Anne Hathaway and Alex O'Loughlin in the roles. That would be so fun to watch!

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

Equally headstrong and devoted to being the best at solving crime, private investigator Sterling Aegar and detective Ben Kirby pit wills to crack a case, though all the while Sterling knows danger from thugs and murderers poses no greater threat than the peril she’d suffer if she lets daredevil Ben get too close.

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

This book is scheduled for a January 21 publication by Crimson Romance. I do not have an agent.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

I'm a pantser, so the first draft of this novel was very rough, but hammered out in about four months. Then it took much longer to revise, edit, and tweak to final draft.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

I'd love to say Bitten, by Kelley Armstrong because of the suspense and intensity, but that would be wishful thinking and it's not a paranormal. High Society Sabotage, by Kathleen Long comes to mind.

Who or what inspired you to write this book?

That's easy. Life. I love to write, so I'm always brainstorming story possibilities, exploring character possibilities. This particular book was an exploration of what characters who suffer from past wounding do in relationships and how those past experiences resonate in and frame the present.

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

Dancing with Detective Danger is very much a love story. It's about ordinary characters who are flawed and vulnerable, but don't give up. It highlights the love of sisters who are independent individuals who give each other space to be, but the central story is about Sterling and Ben making their way back to each other.

The Next Big Thing Blog Hop continues December 19 at the sites of these wonderful writers:

The magical Robyn Bachar http://robynbachar.com/books

The fascinating Cal Pomes  http://callanprimer.com

The memorable William Rosencrans www.dakotaaworkinprogress.blogspot.com.