It takes backbone, not wishbone, to make success.

- Unknown

Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.

 – Dale Carnegie

All I would tell people is to hold onto what was individual about themselves, not to allow their ambition for success to cause them to try to imitate the success of others. You’ve got to find it on your own terms.

– Harrison Ford

Action is the foundational key to all success.

– Pablo Picasso

Think of yourself as on the threshold of unparalleled success. A whole, clear, glorious life lies before you. Achieve! Achieve! 

– Andrew Carnegie

Happy New Year!

Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally. 

- David Frost

You’re Not A Failure, Even if You’ve Failed by Carol Malone

The Write Way Café welcomes Carol Malone as she takes us along on her winding journey through 2016, and offers suggestions for getting a good start to 2017. 


The other day, I was sitting in my home office contemplating the past twelve months like most of us do at this time of year. I attempted to assess my progress physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I noted there were times of great triumph this past year as well as great sorrow and pain. Did I accomplish the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year? Did other things in life impede my progress and ultimately my success in one or many areas of my life? How could I have done better? What did I do right and how can I now celebrate that success?

Success means different things to different people. 

To a writer, success might be to have written a new story, plotted out a new story idea, or entered and placed in a contest. Success might be placing those fabulously hard-fought words “The End” on a completed manuscript. To a budding author, nothing thrills the heart or blows the mind like completing a novel. For some, it’s the crowning glory of our career.

Other career successes might mean starting and maintaining a new blog, or finding that elusive marketing brand and running full-out with it in all aspects of promotion. It might mean sending a gripping query letter and being awarded with the contracted services of an agent or having a publisher/editor ask for pages of a book or the whole manuscript. Success might mean receiving a book contract for one or more books with a publishing house.

As I look back on my year 2016, at first I didn’t see much to throw a party about.

My major goal for the year was to publish as least one book. If I counted my success by books published, I fell short. I was a failure. Though I attempted to finish editing my sequel to "Fight Card Romance: Ladies Night," I did not finish. This left me feeling downhearted. When I attempted to publish my 1905 down-home on the farm novella, I was told by a free-lance editor that the characters were not likeable and the situation not plausible. This brutal edit set me back spiritually and emotionally for months. For NaNoWriMo this year, I did write 50,000 words, but I’m nowhere near the completion of my Young Adult romance. I didn’t enjoy the success of writing 50,000 words – which in itself, is a great accomplishment. With one last gasp, I attempted to publish my Christmas short sequel for “Ladies Night,” but a horrible illness prevented me. Depressing, right? Not a very successful year if you take a superficial look at my progress.

Thanks goodness we are not a total sum of our outstanding accomplishments, and meeting the most lofty of goals doesn’t not define our souls. 

Success can’t be defined for you by someone else’s measuring stick. Though I didn’t reach my main goal for the year, I do consider myself successful. However, the world might scoff at my statement. I have learned not to care much about the world’s appraisal or assessment of accomplishments.

That being said, there were moments of pure joy and feelings of completeness that came to me this year in spite of having FAILED to reach my main goal. 

1. I finished writing Sunday Punch, the sequel to Fight Card Romance: Ladies Night in January of 2016. A feat that took two years and two months. Bravo!
2. I wrote a short story and entered it in a local writers’ Short Story contest and won Honorable Mention. Congratulations to me!
3. I also wrote a short memoir piece in August and won First Place in a Memoir contest. Fantastic!
4. I wrote ten (10) articles for Beth Barany’s Writers’ Fun Zone blog. http://www.writersfunzone.com/blog/2016/11/25/what-does-nanowrimo-have-in-common-with-the-fall-classic/ Good for me!
5. I wrote and produced a video concerning critiquing techniques and presented this video during an online writers’ conference for the LDS Beta Readers. Wow! Way to go!
6. I did pro bono editing work for the two winners of a personal Romance Contest I held in conjunction with Beth Barany, and worked some more with one contestant for a few months to help her on her journey. Pat on the back for me! 
7. I attended the 2016 RWA mega-conference in San Diego with my husband. We took many workshops including the master class from Michael Hague. Cheers to me and my husband! 
8. I joined a group devoted to fighting and clearing our writing blocks, titled “The Artist’s Way,” in January. I have successfully worked through “The Morning” pages each day and most of the Twelve-step program. Stick with it!
9. With the help of a selfless workshop leader/editor, I was able to work through the process of shoving a personal wound to the back of my thoughts and keep it from defining me. Exaltation!
10. I mastered the 20+ movements of Tai Chi Chih and completed the advanced class. Hurrah! 
11. I took a solo vacation in March to visit family and attend a great-nephew’s wedding. Blessings to me!

A change of direction does not equal failure.

If you have been reading my articles for any length of time, you’ll note that I’m not much of a goal setter. Even though at the start of 2016 I had some pretty solid goals, what happened to me during the year set me on a different path. And that’s okay! I’m not a failure!

Perhaps as you read this article you see the goals you had set for yourself that you didn’t accomplish. Does that make you feel like a failure, or disappointed in yourself because you didn’t reach your goals? I hope you can feel successful even if you might have changed your focus and re-evaluated your goals and met disappointment with hard work in spite of the change of direction?  

Whatever your vision of success is, first of all, can you define it, and second, can you enjoy it?

I’m not going to define goal setting or the need to set meaningful goals or attainable goals. We all know the drill. There are as many ways to set goals as there are gurus who tell you that you must set goals to be happy. What I want you to remember as you begin a fresh New Year with a blank slate of days in front of you, is to discover What is your Why? Why do you want something, and why is the goal you want important to you? After all that, then it’s a matter of showing up, be present in the moment, and engaging in hard work.

No. Goal setting is not easy and we do fall off the course. Sometimes we get knocked off the course through no fault of our own.

Then change course. Accept what is. Feel the change throughout your whole body. Recognize your emotional responses to the course change. Make adjustments. Accept that any progress IS PROGRESS! Baby steps are still steps! Don’t define your change in direction as a failure! “There really is no failure until you label it a failure. It’s not how many times you fall that matters; it’s the number of times you stand back up and start again. That’s what makes the difference,” Nozomi Morgan, MBA and certified Executive Coach said this in the The Huffington Post article, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nozomi-morgan/not-reaching-your-goals-t_b_10067070.html

My advice for you is to set goals – if you want. Reach high, but not unreachably high. Be realistic yet flexible. Never castigate yourself for a change or for not reaching your first set goals. Take what talents you’ve been blessed with and multiply them in as many areas of your life. But be gentle with yourself. Notice in your body the tender or expansive feelings of great growth. Progress is progress. Brainstorm your “why” and “why you want your goal,” then engage.

In the comments below, please let me know if you had a change in your major goals for 2016 and how you handled the bumps, curves, detours, and freeway closures along your journey for the year.

Blessings to you for a Happy Writing and Publishing New Year!



Award-winning author, Carol Malone writes new pulp-fiction suspense kissed with romance to rocket readers into the past. When not hammering out new tales, Carol is reading, or watching the Dodgers, reruns of Castle, and the Food Network with her writer husband on the coast of California. She loves to connect with you, her readers and invites you to chat about romance and sports on her website.
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Fight Card Romance: Ladies Night
Fight Card Romance: Ladies Night Christmas
Summer Holiday

Stop Making Excuses

Fear.  A four letter word that writers know well.  It’s a facet of our lives that sometimes gets the better of us.

Sending our children out into the cruel world has nothing on submitting our writing for consideration.  At least our children can fight back, hopefully with the tools of experience we have provided them. But there’s no one to protect our words, except our words themselves.

What if we aren’t good enough?  What if nobody likes what we have written?  What if our work is rejected?

I’ve been writing since I was young.  By no means does that make me an expert.  But I must be on the right track because I’ve gotten positive feedback from people who have read my work.  I know I still have a lot to learn.  And yes, maybe I am just a little bit afraid of having my work rejected.

But I’m equally afraid of being successful. What if I’ve done my homework well enough that my writing is accepted? What are the consequences of success?  Will I be ready for it?  How will success change me, and how will it change my life?

The road to becoming a successful writer is paved with good intentions.  It also has scenic pull-outs that are valid distractions – distractions that enable us to  ignore the fear. Distractions that fuel the fear, too.

Family – I haven’t been very successful at putting my family after my writing.  With my oldest moved out, and my youngest wanting nothing to do with me (he’s a teenager, what can I say?), I plan to spend more time writing. But I also need to nurture my relationship with my husband. Will my family relationships suffer if I reach my goal of being published?

Exercise – I haven’t been very successful at exercising, either.  My day job is a desk job, and although I do a fair amount of getting up and down, sitting all day has definitely contributed to this secretary’s spread! In order to combat the spread, hubby and I often walk in the evenings after dinner.  On weekends, we regularly make trips to one of our local state parks and spend the day hiking. It's good for the hips, and photographing nature while I'm there feeds my creative juices.

Appetite – Unfortunately, I have one.  Especially for chocolate. Therefore I need my family to make me get out and do things, rather than coming home and sitting all evening.  Or, maybe I should invest in a treadmill desk.

Reading – Some of the best adventures a body can have!  Escape into another world and live vicariously through those characters.  Travel the world, and experience places and situations that you might not have the opportunity for in your daily life.

These topics were part of a recent discussion with a writer friend who ultimately told me I was making excuses and that I need to stop making excuses and just write.  Her comments made me think.  I need to find balance in my life.  I can have every intention of becoming a published author, but if I spend all my time on the scenic pull-outs of life, I’ll never travel that road to publication.

Do you allow your fears to be a distraction?  How do you balance life and writing?  I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Resolution Frame of Mind

January 1.

Does the date strike fear in your heart? Does it induce a feeling of relief? Maybe it conjures up something different for you.

The New Year signals many of us to leave behind our negative attitudes and refocus on the positives in our lives. It’s a time to reflect on the good and the bad of the past year, to determine how to start over and do things differently; a time to hope for a different outcome than before. 

We could do this at any time during the calendar year, but for some reason, a New Year motivates us to make changes we otherwise might struggle to make. Why? I wish I knew. Maybe taking down the old calendar and putting up a new one signals our minds that it’s time to start over. Look at all those fresh, blank, new days we can fill! Look at the opportunities we have!

It doesn’t seem to take long, however, for us to lose whatever motivates us and get caught up in the spin cycle that was our life last year. Our good intentions fall by the wayside. We feel like failures for not being able to keep going on the new paths we’ve chosen. Our goals may still be clearly visible, but our fervor to reach them has wilted. Were our goals too lofty? Were they wishful thinking? Did we not realize what we REALLY wanted?

For 2013, I’ve decided to take a different approach.  Rather than make resolutions I know I won’t keep, I plan to adopt a new frame of mind based on resolutions.

Reorganize: My life is full, but sometimes unorganized. I waste plenty of time, so I want to come up with a plan that will allow me to accomplish the things I WANT to do. There is space for them to fit in around the things I NEED to do. I’m a visual person, so my plan is to utilize a calendar and a list (oh all right, multiple lists) to prioritize and keep track of all those “things” that fill my life. 

Exercise: This is definitely a struggle for me. I’m happy to walk or hike outside when the weather permits, but going to the gym just doesn’t work for me. By day, I’m an office assistant so I spend 99% of my time sitting. Hubby is currently Mr. Mom so when I get home I don’t have to clean the house or do the dishes, and therefore I find myself curled up in a chair writing or reading or wasting time online. I know I should get out my chair and do something, but when it’s cold outside, I just don’t want to. And yes, I would like some cheese with my whine, thank you very much! My goal for 2013 is to spend less time in my chair and more time on my feet, one way or another. I’m thinking about strapping on my pedometer and taking my mini-recorder on walks. I can talk through my plots and not lose any thoughts. Exercise for my brain and my body!

Start something new: I have lots of ideas bouncing around in my head. The New Year is as good a time as any to start new projects. I can put them on my lists or on my calendar and make them a priority. Starting something new often rekindles my passion for writing. It allows me to escape from the bog I might be in on my current project. It allows me to think in a different direction. Sometimes that’s all I need to free my mind to be creative again.

Open your mind: It’s very easy to be set in our ways, and very hard to be open to alternative points of view. Instead of defending your position on a topic, listen - really listen - to the other side. It’s a chance to learn why others are just as passionate but with a different outlook. Be open to new paths. Do you live in town? Go for a drive in the country. Do you only walk in the gym? Go to a county or state park and take a trail instead. Do you only read romance? Pick up an autobiography and give it a try. Open yourself up to new possibilities. You never know what you might discover.

Love what you are doing: I’m one of the lucky ones - I love my job. It makes getting up and going to work every day easy. I also love writing. I love playing with words, rearranging them until they convey my thoughts. I love the challenge of creating characters, settings, and plots and working to make them be books readers will not want to put down. I want to write books that encourage others to love reading as much as I do.

Unplug: This is probably the most difficult. I’m not as plugged in as many people I know. I have a pay-as-you-go cell phone without Internet capabilities, and I have a computer at home, along with a Kindle Fire. I’m not disconnected. But like many others, I struggle to escape the need to check email just one more time, to check Facebook because I might be missing something, or to answer text messages just because I can. The only time I successfully unplug is when we go on vacation. I have my cell phone in case of emergency and I check it each night, but during the day it’s off. I don’t take a computer with me, although this year I might take the Kindle Fire instead of tossing in a few paperbacks. Unplugging does me a world of good. My brain needs the down time. I need to enjoy the simpler things in life, and I don’t need to know what the rest of the world is doing every waking minute. I’m always reluctant to return from vacation, knowing I’m headed back to the frantic pace we live in today. And yet I relish being plugged back in. Go figure.

Try: Try something new just for the fun of it, like a new food. Try different approaches to solve a problem. Try writing your scene from a different point of view.  Put effort into what you want to accomplish. Apply yourself; don’t just talk about it. And don’t give up. Keep trying until you reach your goal, whatever it is.

Indulge yourself: Curl up with a good book by a favorite author. Have a glass of something you don’t normally drink. Light a scented candle. Indulge your chocolate craving. Get a manicure or a massage. Meet a friend for lunch. Go to a movie, laugh and cry - release those pent up emotions. It’s good for your soul. We all need to treat ourselves now and then. I regularly curl up with a good book and chocolate is my main food group, but I occasionally treat myself to the other things. They make me feel good because they don’t happen every day. We all need a treat now and then.

Opportunities: They’re everywhere! Open yourself to the possibilities. Do you want to learn a foreign language? Take a class at your local community college. Want to learn more about your new digital camera? Sign up for the class being offered by your local newspaper photographers. Want to expand your writing horizons? Start a blog or check into writing a weekly column for a local paper. Opportunities won’t always fall in your lap. Sometimes you have to go in search of them. 

No! Just say no!: I lied. Saying no is the most difficult thing to do. We feel obligated to live up to the expectations of others, which puts pressure on us to ignore the things we want to accomplish. I’m not saying you should always say no to others; I think you need to pick and choose based on what is important to you. A word of warning: saying no can be extremely empowering!

Start now! The New Year is here. Take advantage of the mindsets prevalent at this time of year. Break out the bubbly - the New Year is yours to fill with success!

 

Ambition is the path to success.  Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.

- Bill Bradley

Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.

- Truman Capote