An Attitude of Gratefulness

As Thanksgiving approaches, we would like to thank everyone who has supported The Write Way Café. 

An attitude of gratefulness is a beautiful and peaceful thing, year-round. It helps us stay present in the moment and enjoy more fully what life offers. The word is two-part, suggesting thankfulness and giving. At Thanksgiving we pause for gratitude, but we also reach out to others in need. Don’t forget this Thanksgiving when you make your list of people in need to pay attention to your individual needs, as well. We tend to leave ourselves off that list, thinking in this rich country we have everything we need, too much, in fact. But it’s not necessarily true. So on Thanksgiving and every day, consider how you are rich, as well as what your heart longs for, whether it’s acceptance or a voice or reading or writing a book that feeds your soul. Discover what you truly need to make your world and the entire world better.

In addition to our personal gratitudes, here at The Write Way Café, we would like to say a special thank you to the authors (listed below) who have taken time to answer our interview questions or to write a post, for taking their time to respond to comments, and for giving away prizes to our readers.  We are also grateful to the readers who have visited our blog, reading our posts and supporting the authors we host.  We hope you will continue to support this circle of life in our writing world.

Angela Adams     
Samantha Anne 
Winter Austin
Angela Kay Austin
Robyn Bachar
Karen Sue Burns
Christi Caldwell
Caroline Clemmons
Margo Bond Collins
Andrea Cooper
Deborah O’Neill Cordes
Lynn Crandall
Kathryn Daugherty
Melinda Dozier
Min Edwards
Tameri Etherton
Elke Feuer
Joyce Flinn
Lynda Kay Frazier
Jennifer Fulford
Rebekah Ganiere
Charmaine Gordon
Jo Grafford
Jami Gray
Joni Hahn
KM Jackson
Paty Jager
Alice Able Kemp
Rena Koontz
Becky Lower
Carol Malone
Susanne Matthews
Elizabeth Meyette
JoAnne Myers
Alexis Morgan
Angela Myron
Taylor Nash
Robyn Neeley
V. S. Nelson
Cait O-Sullivan
Morgan O’Neill
Linda Pennell
Victoria H. Smith
DC Stone
Evelyn Timidaiski
Joni Tadlock
Nancy C. Weeks
RT Wolfe
Samanthya Wyatt
Ashley York

Support Is A Two-Way Street

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.

– Allen Saunders

Life has been more stressful than usual lately. I’ve got too many proverbial irons in the fire – some by choice and others not – but I’m doing my best to cope. My mind races with thoughts of who, what, when, where, why, and how the heck am I going to get it all done?

A popular modification of the serenity prayer comes to mind:  Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know where I should hide the bodies. 

Yes, I like that idea! Bury the bodies. That will take care of some of my problems. . . until I land in jail for murder. I would not make a good prisoner. Can you imagine how difficult I would be if I couldn’t have my daily dose of books and chocolate? PMS would pale in comparison.

We learned a long time ago that we don’t always get our way. But even as adults, it’s not easy to accept.

Being a member of the sandwich generation, I often find that my life is not my own. My youngest is a senior in high school, and definitely not the social butterfly his sister was four years ago. He is passionate about soccer, so we’re on the go to his varsity games several times a week. That will be over before any of us are ready, so I’m not really complaining. Mixed in for good measure, on both sides of the family we have aging and health-challenged parents who demand more of our time. It’s a rare day that we have to ourselves, and hubby and I usually have different ideas about how we want to spend that time, which results in more conflict. Throw in work upheavals, and I recently had the perfect recipe for feeling sorry for myself. 

Then a friend called under the pretense of inviting us to a backyard celebration for her son, who had just graduated from boot camp and would be leaving in three short days. I asked how she was doing and she hesitated a second too long. We talked for about fifteen minutes and she insisted she was fine so we said goodbye. But my friend needed me – I could feel it in my gut. I hopped in my van and drove to her house, only to find her sitting in the dark on her patio, wrapped in an old chenille robe, bawling her eyes out. She didn’t have to explain the pride and fear warring in her heart; I just knew. I wrapped her in my arms and cried with her. When she was spent, she simply said “I knew I could call you.” 

Those were powerful words, a boon to my feeling-sorry-for-myself soul. I was needed.

We all need a support system. Sometimes it’s just someone to vent to, someone who will listen and empathize without judging. Sometimes, we need someone to gently steer us in the direction we need to go. Other times, we need a swift kick to reboot our mindset. Surrounding ourselves with people who can fill these roles is important.

Writers, by necessity, have solitary spans of time. We talk to ourselves, answer ourselves, even argue with ourselves. But we still need the support of our family and friends to cover for us when we are deep into writing on a deadline. We need the support of other writers to help us work through stuck plotlines or stubborn characters who just refuse to cooperate. We rely on other writers to understand how we think, why we struggle, and to help us navigate the path to publication. And then we need the support of readers once we are published. 

But in the end, support – like life – is a two-way street. You have to give to receive. 

How have you been supportive of someone in your life?  How has someone helped you? Please share.

Proceed at Your Own Risk

With over 170,000 miles on our van, we opted for a staycation this year. As much as we’d like to head out west again, we didn’t want to break down and have to buy a new van on the way. Been there, done that.

Here are five things I learned on my staycation.

1.  A change of scenery can reset your outlook on life. 

Being cooped up in an office, even though I love my day job, gets old.  Vacation provides an opportunity to get out, to escape from the daily fires – something I really should do more often.  My escape of choice is hiking. Experiencing nature (except for the spiders and snakes) relaxes me, and viewing it through the lens of my camera allows me to capture details I might otherwise miss.

My creativity has taken a nose-dive lately due to situations beyond my control, so my change of scenery is giving me a new perspective. Nature relaxes me, so maybe I should try writing there.  I can take my choice of writing tools and find a picnic table overlooking the lake. If the weather isn’t cooperating, I can skip the coffee shop and find a corner table in the food court at the local mall where I can people watch. It might be noisier here but you never know what characters you might observe!

2.  Change can be painful.

Hiking works muscles that get lazy all week, sitting in comfy chairs. Hubby thinks he can give me a better workout than any gym. He heads for the more rugged trails, ones that wind through an assortment of terrains: hills and valleys, rocks and streams, ladders. And steps. Hundreds of wooden steps. So many steps that if I never see another step in my life it will be too soon. Just ask my calves and thighs.

Traversing life experiences can be difficult, sometimes downright painful, both mentally and physically. But our experiences make us who we are, and have brought us to where we are today.  We have to take our experiences and run with them, make them our own.

Don’t like where you are today?  

3.  Get out of your comfort zone.

My 17 year old son wanted to go to King’s Island and ride rollercoasters. I love rollercoasters, so I was game. But then I rode the Diamondback. I should have known better than to ride a coaster named after a snake! That first drop was waaaayyy out of my comfort zone, and left me thinking I was not in my right mind. 

Whatever possessed me to get on that thing? It scared the daylights out of me. It made my heart beat a little faster. It was an adventure! Adventures are the spice of life, so go ahead, do something you wouldn’t normally do. (Just trust me, and don’t ride the Diamondback.)

4.  Proceed at your own risk.

While hiking, we came upon this sign – twice. Hubby ignored the first one, even though it was stuck smack-dab in the middle of the trail we were on. The bridge that was “out” couldn’t really be called a bridge – we were able to step across the rut below it with no problem. But the trail eventually left us stranded at the bottom of a ravine, with two choices: go back the way we came, or climb out by following a narrow deer path up a steep hill. Guess which way we went?

The second sign was off to the side of our trail, but given the status of the previous bridge – let’s just say life is always an adventure with my hubby. This bridge was mostly under water, and it was too wide to jump. Lucky for him, there were boards and logs across a narrower section that we were able to cross and continue on our way.

Taking risks – taking chances – is what enables us to have unique experiences. Nobody wants to put themselves in peril, but where would we be if we never ventured out? Think of taking chances as an opportunity to be resourceful, and accept the challenge.

5.  Surround yourself with supporters.  

My family challenged me to step out of my comfort zone and try something different, but they were right there with me, making the trip more enjoyable.

My fellow writers are always right there with me, too. They have different and helpful ideas and viewpoints, if only I will listen. They encourage me to take risks, and to be resourceful. They encourage me to build my own bridges.

My staycation may not have been my dream vacation, but it served an important purpose: it allowed me to step back from the pressures of everyday life, to reset – physically and mentally.

What do you do to reset?  Please share!