Never Stop Dreaming by @lcrandallwriter

At times, we can feel beaten down by life. In those times, fulfilling our dreams can appear impossible. I know that so well. But when I feel discouraged by whatever life has brought to me on any particular day, I remember my son and his dreams. He is the redhead on the left of the photo.

I wrote the following piece years ago for E-Magazine, but it is still pertinent today. Always remember, Never Stop Dreaming.

On University of Illinois home football game days, the university's marching band, the Marching Illini, gather about an hour before the game inside the Armory to warm up their instruments. Next door, on the lawn in front of the Harding Band Building, the drumline assembles, drawing a crowd with their precision drumming. Each percussionist -- bass, tenor, snare -- wears a sober, very business-like expression while their hands fly, beating out incredibly clean, crisp and exhilarating sounds in alliance with the flashy cymbal players. To say this drumming event is soul-stirring is like saying winning the big lottery would be fun. Words can't adequately describe what it feels like to be in the midst of such talent and skill. It borders on the spiritual, in a mystical, cosmic sort of way. In fact, a quote from the drumline home page says it well: Any sufficiently advanced drumming is indistinguishable from magic.

If music was light, the Marching Illini would be a prism, casting an array of beautifully shimmering sounds out upon the world. The brass and woodwinds sound like heaven and make my heart soar. Percussionists punctuate and deliver power to the band. Admittedly, I'm partial to percussionists. My son plays the tenors. I know, you'd never have guessed.

I've stood in the crowd on the band building lawn watching my handsome son's participation and choked back tears. Okay, I'm his mom and yes, I'm proud of his ability. But it's more than that. It's a matter of all the cosmic tumblers dropping into place, confirming that life is good.

On a crisp fall day back about 10 years ago, my husband and I sat with our two youngest boys in the stands at Memorial Stadium. It was their first college football experience and they were really taking it all in. Part way through the game, members of the Marching Illini visited our section of the bleachers and played a song. To my 9- and 6-year-old sons, those band members seemed like celebrities.

"One of them smiled at me, " Andrew said, eyes wide.

"I touched one of their capes," Daniel whispered, as though he'd just touched a god.

That's when the light struck Daniel and he decided someday he wanted to be one of the Marching Illini too.

It's that little boy I think of when I watch Daniel stand tall in his place among the other tenors. I think of all the times he's felt the very human ache of aspiration -- to pitch the winning pitch, see his name on the basketball team roster after try-outs, get a date with "that one" girl -- and maybe felt the sting of disappointment. Seeing him grow into a wonderful young man is awesome enough. Watching him and listening to his dynamic drumming, I feel the glory of the symbolic message he has brought to life wash over me. It says, Believe.

Seems pretty simple, but it stands out like a bright star in a world of unknowns. Will my family be safe? Will my kids learn good lessons? Will they stay away from drugs, cigarettes, too much sugar, caffeine, pesticides, and reckless driving tickets? How many things in life can I manage and control thereby making certain my kids are safe, healthy, and happy? It's enough to make a parent go bananas!

Then I see Daniel performing with the band on the field at Memorial Stadium. With the brilliant sounds of their rendition of a popular song like Jurassic Park filling the stadium, I remember the little 9-year-old who had a dream, a glimpse of himself as how he could be. He grew into a man and made the dream come true.

Witnessing your child bring a dream into fruition is one of the rewards of being a parent. Not because you, the parent, get a pat on the back for your child's accomplishment. Giving them stability and a sense of themselves so that they can succeed is a parent's job. What I'm referring to is the confirmation that life is worth living, no matter what. The universal truth of believing that we can have dreams renews itself in our kids.

In dark times of worry, sickness, disappointment, or strife, we can believe in a world that is as much light as dark. Our children's dreams are proof.

Hair Cuts, Family and Deadlines

Writing deadlines and goals demand time. So do chores, family and friends, and haircuts. How do we manage the push and pull of different aspects of our life?

It’s not unusual for my writing plans to get sidelined.  I try to take life’s interruptions in stride, but it happens so regularly that I get upset. I’m always waiting for the nonwriting stuff in my life to settle down, be done, stop interrupting my writing time so I can have a clean slate week of writing. It’s important to me.  I HAVE DEADLINES! I want to shout “Stop the madness!”

But that is never going to happen. There is not going to be a huge, weeks-long pause in my life. The things I call interruptions are not madness, they are just a part of living. For instance, last week I planned six solid days of writing. I actually wrote very little. My regular pay-the-bills job needed attention. Family needed my attention.  My beautiful, sweet cat begged for my attention…repeatedly. Add a trip or two to the grocery store and the six days of nonstop writing I’d planned melted away.

I struggle with mixed feelings. I want to be available to family. I understand my cat’s need for attention. I have to get haircuts, dental checkups, and  vision exams. These are as much a part of my normal life as writing. I am working on being able to contain a large life, one that includes writing and meeting deadlines.

How to do that? How to keep interruptions and obstacles to writing in their proper place? Here are some suggestions others have made:
·     Quit writing. It’s causing too much stress.
·     Take an extended break. This feels like  a shortened version of quitting.
·     Extend the hours in the day available. For me, that means getting up earlier. For others it means writing late into the night.
·     Optimize your time. That’s a tough one because for many authors, the process of publishing now also requires managing our own promotions. Enter time spent on Google+, Facebook, Twitter, etc.
·     Ignore, ignore, ignore. I like this suggestion my husband gave me in my early years of writing. He told me to write. The housecleaning would always wait.

According to many experts, including author and entrepreneur Kevin Daum, for those willing to face some hard truths, obstacles can be overcome and interruptions can be transformed.

“First, it helps to understand that obstacles come in three different flavors: internal, external, and habitual,” he wrote for Inc.

There are times that external obstacles are out of our control and prompt us to rethink our goals and strategies. While internal obstacles are varied, they are issues we have control over and include available time and skill level, as well as internal beliefs that warn us to stop what we’re doing. Like internal obstacles, habitual obstacles require reflection and awareness about what is truly preventing us from doing what we want to do. Is it the voices of people who used to give you the message as a child or young adult that you were incapable of creating the life you wanted?

So what are some ways these interruptions and obstacles can be put in their place? For me, self-reflection and increased awareness has made a difference in how I use my time and how I approach my goals. It’s kind of a secret, but only you are entitled to making the choices that are right for you. Do you really need to clean the house as frequently as you do? Can you pay attention to your family and still claim enough time to yourself to accomplish your dreams? Can you take an honest look at the time-wasters in your daily life? Whether those activities are time-wasters or not is only up to you, and making a choice that supports your goals is for you to find self-discipline for. It may feel like you’re taking a big risk by implementing needed changes. What will your family say? Who will keep the cupboards full? Granted, it takes courage to stand up for ourselves and work out compromises, but expect the best and you might get it.

If trying to carve time for serious writing is getting you down, remember you can go inward and assess what is the real problem, you can take a hard look at how you spend your time, and you can use discipline to avoid too many time-wasters.

Also, to fire up your self-determination and claim your time, infuse your life with useful phrases and inspirational sayings. Follow on Twitter one or two quote sites, such as Motivational Quotes and Quote Soup. I love a good quote and I have many favorite quotes. Today, this one from Manifestation Miracle is really ringing for me: “Whatever you love, you want to make sure to hold onto it tight and get ready to fight off anything that gets in your way.”

What do you rely on to overcome obstacles to your writing goals?