Spring Cleaning Because Phil Lied

Phil lied. Or else he can’t count.

Our six more weeks of winter passed over four weeks ago, and still the temperatures freeze your nose, your fingers and your toes. The bright sunshine fools us into thinking it’s warm outside, and we don our light-weight coats hoping to enjoy an early spring walk. We don’t get far before we realize we’ve been had. Back we go, into the warm house, where tonight we will have a blazing fire.

I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for spring! I’m tired of being cooped up inside. I need my nature fix – a hike in the woods, listening to the birds, and the breeze as it sings through the trees. Capturing deer and other wildlife, trees budding and flowers blooming in all the glorious colors of nature through my camera lens. These are things that fuel my creativity. 

Instead, I’m laying the groundwork for writing days by “spring” cleaning.

I’m starting with my computer. I admit I’m something of a packrat and that includes email. I have about 14 different email addresses I use. I know, I know – who needs that many email addresses? I can justify maybe 8 of them: 

• Work

• Personal

• Author

• Blog

• Writers group

• Hubby (He is technology-challenged but wanted an email for certain things so I monitor it for him.)

• Shopping (I use this one for all online shopping.)

• Writing (Why do I need 4 of these?) 

• Miscellaneous (Why do I need 3 of these?)

Over the years I’ve used the 4 writing and 3 miscellaneous email addresses for different things. These are the ones I need to combine and simplify, especially the writing email addresses. While skimming through them, I realized I have subscribed to some of the same author newsletters from multiple emails, so I created a spreadsheet and listed all of my emails and what I subscribe to under each one. Combining and simplifying might take a while!

The stack of books I’ve been collecting over the winter is up next.  Most of them I’ve snuck into the house two or three at a time in my tote bag, stashing them in my daughter’s old room on the various shelves she left behind when she moved out. Hubby thinks I own too many books already, but I’m still buying, and I’m still accepting books passed on to me by friends. What Hubby doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right? The problem is I don’t know what I already have, and a couple times I’ve purchased the same book twice. I can always give the second copy to a fellow reader, but darn it, I could be using that money to buy another book I don’t already have! Sorting them out seems like a good way to continue my spring cleaning…

Once the books are sorted, I’m moving on to my desk. Right now it's located in my son’s old room, which I’m still transitioning into my office. Starting on the office décor was much more fun than the cleaning and sorting part. But the desktop is collecting articles that need filed, pens that need tested to see if they work, and more books that need to be sorted. It makes a nice catch-all but it's covered with so much stuff that I can't use it for writing, and that kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it?

I’ve procrastinated long enough. These are all tasks that need done, and since Phil let me down, I am trying to take advantage of the not-so-nice weather to accomplish tasks I won’t want to do once spring really does arrive. 

What spring cleaning do you feel compelled to tackle? Please share!

Stupid, Pointless Annoying Messages

Guten morgen, honey! How are your boobs? 

Apparently my spam filter is male.  It catches and holds messages from girls who want to meet me and companies who want to help me have better sex, but it directed this “boobs” message to my inbox.  Normally I ignore these messages and get on with my day.  But I have to admit, this one made me laugh!

Spam is a slang name for Unsolicited Commercial Email.  Used as an acronym, SPAM stands for stupid, pointless annoying message (folk etymology).  Spam message topics seem to run in cycles: lotteries, speeding tickets, inheritances, online pharmacies, sexual enhancements, mortgage or insurance rates, mystery shoppers, and drugs. Unsolicited?  Definitely.  Stupid, pointless and annoying?  You bet.

But for email users, spam is unavoidable.  Spam messages find their way into my inbox every day.  And more often than I would like, important emails join the spam caught in my junk folder, making it necessary to check all those messages before I can delete them.  Outlook allows users to preview messages in a reading pane, without actually opening them.  I can highlight any message that is not obviously spam and scan the content.  This enables me to quickly determine the authenticity of emails and to avoid infecting my computer with viruses.

Since I need to check the messages, I try to make the time spent checking them worthwhile.

Many spam messages are written with terrible grammar and punctuation.  The sentences often make no sense at all.  I know there are gullible and lonely people in this world, but I hope they are all smart enough not to be sucked in by this stuff.  I have to shake my head and laugh at some of it.  It’s better to laugh than be annoyed.

Do you ever pay attention to who sends spam messages?  I’m sure these are not real people, but I keep a spreadsheet of names (male, female, and surnames) to use in my writing.  This isn’t something new for me.  I started keeping lists of names years ago when I worked at a cap and gown company.  One of my jobs was to check measurement forms submitted by schools and churches to order graduation and choir gowns, making sure each form contained name, height, and cap size.  Any time a name caught my attention, I added it to the list: names I liked, names with unique spellings, funny names.  Over the years, I’ve continued to add to the list, and keeping a spreadsheet is an easy way to keep them all in one place.  Now when I need a character name, I like to refer to this list.

So, thank you for your interest, Mr. Spammer.  While I am not inclined to answer your email, I did get a good laugh out of it, and if you’re lucky, I might name my next villain after you!

How do you deal with spam emails?  Do you mine them for ideas to use in your novels?  Please share.