What's Your Playlist?

When my youngest son was in high school and college he ran track and cross country. He did very well and broke records and won local, regional, and state meets. Sometimes he expressed insecurity at conquering the next level. When he qualified to go to the state meet in his senior year he was confident but well aware of his competition. My husband and I reminded him of his inner drive and heart for competing. We shared a memory of him walking with his four siblings and his dad and me and how he would get tired and slow down. We would then ask him to sing Eye of the Tiger . He’d start singing in his little boy voice and immediately he would pick up his pace. From that moment’s memory he proceeded to take his music whenever or wherever he ran, and be inspired once again to push on and run his fastest.

Music has always been a part of my life. My family was musical. My father played the trumpet and my mother played the piano. My parents asked each of us in elementary school what instrument we wanted to play, not if. I’m grateful for that musical background. But no one needs a background in music to enjoy listening to a favorite song. Songs can take us to many places and often lift our mood or, like my son’s song, complement self-expression and support our goals.

My playlist for my life when I was younger included upbeat, lively music. It was a rare moment that I wasn’t listening to music at home or in my car. Since I’m a serious person, in college I listened to issue songs, like Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil. I was a romantic, so James Taylor’s Fire and Rain and Neil Diamond’s God Only Knows frequently orchestrated my daily life .

As a young mom I would mop the kitchen floor moving to the beat of Electric Light Orchestra’s All Over the World, Christopher Cross’s I Really Don't Know Anymore, Imagine by John Lennon, and Right Here Right Now by Jesus Jones.

Like my life, my playlist has changed over the years. When I wrote my first book I did it to Gloria Estafan’s Can't Stay Away from You. Other books I wrote to the soundtracks of Superman and White Knights. These oldies but goodies provided an intensity that resonated with the stories in my head.

Nowadays my playlist remains an expression of what’s going on inside me. I would just as likely play Smile by Uncle Kracker or Songbird by Union of Sound, as I would The Sounds of Silence  by Simon and Garfunkle or Dark Horse by Katy Perry.

There are so many, many wonderful songs that have been a part of my life. But now when I write I’m most likely to be in silence. I love the rich, nourishing ambiance of quiet, in my mind and my surroundings.

What’s on your playlist?

The Allure of Alluring

Romance writers have a handle on what is alluring. I mean, we write about romance, something that features the delicious pull of attraction, the sweep of allure. Readers read romances for a variety of reasons, but probably a common expectation is the experience of being swept up in intense sensations that are based in pleasure, something that is inherent in things that are alluring. They want to read writing that evokes the feeling of being awash in sensations.

Dictionary definitions of the word "allure" use phrases such as "attractive and fascinating; tempting, able to arouse strong desire, entice, having an often mysterious or magical power to attract; seductive, fascinating, charming." It's interesting that these descriptions are fairly specific, yet not all things that fit the word "alluring" hold sway for everyone.

For instance, for many readers and moviegoers, the allure of a certain vampire and werewolf seemed obvious. From their unique physical characteristics to their glowering and intense personalities, the characters oozed attraction.

But not for everyone.

What is alluring is not universal. What attracts is tied to gender and sexual preference, society's influence, geography, and our individual experiences. What is perceived as attractive changes with fashion, mores, and the times. For example, many years ago, women wore bustles to enhance their allure, but if a woman of today wore one, she would probably get the cold shoulder. And even fundamental attributes, like power and wealth and strength and beauty, shift in appeal. A man who owned 40 horses and a few hundred acres may have held appeal a hundred years ago or so, but today would not be alluring simply on the basis of his property ownership. Today, allure would more likely be found in his ability to communicate well and his kindness. Okay, and maybe his well-paying job and fast car would be alluring today, too.

Still, some things never seem to change. Some things, like the effects of human chemistry, underpin even the action of allure. According to an article written for Psychology Today by Susan Carnell, Ph. D., being pulled into the sensory-rich experience of allure lies in a chemical effect of dopamine. Carnell writes that while not everything is understood about the workings of dopamine, it is known that it releases when we encounter a pleasing experience, thereby reinforcing the allure of whatever it is we just enjoyed, be it chocolate or the clean scent of our favorite loved one.

"Interestingly, dopamine also makes an appearance when we see or hear cues telling us that something we previously found rewarding is within reach … Its effect is to give us a helpful neurochemical nudge to stop what we’re doing and chase after the delight-producing object.," she writes.

Fascinating. But all I have to say is, thank you dopamine for linking heady pleasure with things I find alluring.

Here's a list of things I think have allure:

An amazing but distinctive metaphor
A good romance novel
The scent of a loved one's clean skin
A genuine smile
Men's spicy cologne

What do you find alluring? Share?