Communication is the Problem to the Answer

The things we do for love. 
Communication is the problem to the answer...
– Things We Do For Love lyrics


Communication is key in relationships.  We have to be able to talk, and to listen – really listen.  Sometimes that’s not easy.

We form new relationships when we are interested in people – people we’ve just met, or maybe someone we’ve known for a long time, but in a different capacity.  Getting to know someone usually means conversing, sharing thoughts and opinions with each other.  Sometimes we have a lot in common and progress to doing things together because of our shared interests.  Other times, we agree to disagree and go our separate ways.

I’m no relationship expert, but Hubby and I often talk about how important it is for us to communicate.  We make time to talk every day, and yes, sometimes that talking turns into an argument.  But disagreements can be healthy, as long as you treat each other with respect.  We have friends who do everything together (and I do mean everything) and then we have friends who do nothing together. We’re somewhere in the middle – we enjoy spending time together but we also recognize the importance of each having our own interests.

I explained it to my daughter this way:  Relationships are like pets.  You have to feed them and care for them; they have to be nurtured.  Falling in love doesn’t guarantee future happiness.  If we become too comfortable in our relationship, and we quit doing the things we used to do together, we start to drift apart.  Sometimes the traits we fell in love with end up being traits that drive us crazy.  But we still have to communicate with each other and show that we care.

So how do we do that?

Some couples leave little notes for their partner to find throughout the day.  Some couples have a regular date night, away from the kids and daily responsibilities.  Others find little ways to make things easier for their partner, maybe by trading responsibilities for a couple days.

Hubby has always enjoyed surprising me with wildflowers picked from the side of the road, or maybe a rose bloom or lilacs plucked from one of our bushes. The only time he buys flowers is for our anniversary, and occasionally for Valentine’s Day.  This year on Valentine’s Day, he left a little sweetheart rose bush on the table for me. It was beautiful!  But when I left for work, I discovered my steering wheel covered in little foam hearts. It was simple, but totally unexpected, and it made me smile all day!

Sometimes silent communication can be the best kind.  It's not how we choose to communicate that matters. What's really important is that we DO communicate.

What little things do you do to show your loved ones how much you care?  Share?