Tuesday, October 15, 2013 | By: Lynn

Stop the Insanity of Negative Self Talk

You know what you want, it’s bringing it to life where you stumble and stutter. It happens to all of us. Whether trying to lose weight, get fit, or create and sustain the desired writing career, we all wonder why we can’t get what we want, sometimes or all the time. If you’re like most people, when you’re struggling with reaching your goals, you may try harder to whip yourself into shape. Unfortunately, if that involves negative self-talk, you may be undermining your progress.

Negative self-talk can seem like the logical thing to do. We procrastinated and didn’t get the number of words written that we planned. Cue negative self-talk: “I really wanted to get 1,000 words written tonight. I just can’t stay motivated. I’m so lazy, so easily distracted. Why can’t I focus?” With all that “feedback” coming at you, pretty soon your subconscious may decide striving to meet goals is just not worth the risk of the onslaught of self-inflicted hurtful words. Trying to fuel your goals with negative thoughts is like trying to make a cake with garbage. You won’t necessarily achieve the results you’re striving for if you’re focusing on your failings, or more appropriately, spinning your humanness into character flaws. The motivation you need to achieve your goals needs energy and enthusiasm. It’s fine to be realistic with yourself and require accountability. But supportive self-talk will more likely inspire you to face the empty pages and bring to life what you want.

Positive support, through ups and downs, is what your fellow romance writers and RWA chapter members can provide. I know I’ve been the lucky recipient of supportive and encouraging words from fellow writers. When I’ve felt discouraged, words like “You’re a good writer. Don’t give up,” have helped me process criticism and discouragement and get back to writing.

No matter what you encounter, there is always hope if you choose to find it. Encouraging words are more likely to inspire the hope you need, the energy to persevere, and the positive vibes you need to build on.

Where do you find positive input for reaching your goals?

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